The Waiting (is the hardest part)

This weeks teaching comes from our team member, Sharon:

This week we have the opportunity to study Sarah.  Hers is the story of waiting, along with the temptations that arise during waiting.  I think we will see ourselves in this intriguing story that reads as interestingly as the greatest fiction.

The first mention of Sarah, or Sarai, is in Genesis 11:29 and 30 – “The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai………..Sarai was barren; she had no child.”  I don’t know about you, but those few simple words grab my heart.  “She had no child.”

We then go on to read in Genesis 12 that Abram’s father, Terah, took his grandson Lot, Abram and Sarai out of the land of Ur, the land of their kinsfolk, intending to settle in the land of Canaan. Ur was in what is now southeastern Iraq.  It would eventually be called Babylon, and is, ironically, the place of exile for the Israelites nearly a thousand years later.

Well, Terah died before they reached Canaan, in a region called Haran.  And it was at this point that the Lord himself spoke to Abram in Gen. 12:1-3, “Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.”  And then he stated his promise to Abram,

                      “I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you. I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you.  All the communities of the earth shall find blessing in you.”

 So they went as the Lord instructed them, Abram, Sarai, Lot and all their possessions, and set out for the land of Canaan, the land promised to Abram and his descendants.  And when they arrived there……… they found a severe famine.  And Abram made the decision to sojourn to Egypt in search of food.

 To complicate matters, Abram realized that because Sarai was so beautiful, the Egyptians might kill him if they found out he was her husband, so he asked her to lie and say that they were brother and sister (which was half true – same father different mothers). Pharaoh took Sarai into his palace, (which is interesting since she was already about 65 years old!).  But Gen. 12:16 says, “on her account it went very well with Abram, and he received flocks and herds, male and female slaves, male and female asses, and camels.”

But the Lord was not too happy; in fact, he intervened and struck Pharaoh’s household with severe plagues because of Abram’s wife.  When Pharaoh discovered the lie, he was only too happy to send Sarai and Abram packing, very rich now in livestock, silver and gold.

 Later in the story, after the establishment of the covenant between God and Abram, Abram asked Sarai to tell the same lie again as they sojourned through another region, with the same result!

Now let’s stop here for a moment and digest all that has transpired.  We know that wives obeyed their husbands in this culture and time period.  Indeed, a wife belonged to her husband, so of course, Sarai would go with Abram.  But it is interesting to imagine all that she might have been thinking!  We also know that Abram and his people were semi-nomadic, so to move from place to place was not uncommon.  However, the city of Ur was the place of their kinsfolk.  We know also that they were not “young.”  So they left behind them the only life they’d ever known to begin a new life; yet in this new place, Sarai’s humiliation remained, along with many other frustrations now. 

Perhaps she was wondering about her husband and about God,  “Why all the wandering, the lies, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah from which we had to flee for our lives?”  Maybe Sarai missed the city of Ur.  When would they finally settle for a while?  When would the babies come?  After all, God said he’d make of Abram a great nation.  What was going on?

 As for Sarai’s continued barrenness, it is important to understand that it was a “double curse,” for the woman so afflicted lived with an unfulfilled longing on her part, but it also meant that her husband would have no heir, which was a very big deal.  Abram was a wealthy man now, and all that he owned would go to his steward if he had no heir.  So humiliation overshadowed both of them.

 Ten years after God first spoke His promise to Abram, Sarai must have decided she’d waited long enough!

Have you ever felt that way?!  When all the good things you’ve prayed for seem not to register with God?
That must be how Sarai felt.  So even if she could not bear a child, she would take matters into her own hands, and she would see to it that her husband had an heir.  She knew just what she would do.

Sarai had an Egyptian maidservant, Hagar, likely one of the slaves given to them by Pharaoh when they left Egypt.  Gen. 16:2 says, “Sarai said to Abram, ‘The Lord has kept me from bearing children (so she sees God as an adversary here;).  Have intercourse, then, with my maid; perhaps I shall have sons through her.’  Abram heeded Sarai’s request.”

 I think we find ourselves aghast when we read this, but ancient sources tell us that Sarai’s actions are in keeping with the laws of the time.  Clearly, though, this was not God’s will.  Even then, cultural mores weren’t the same as God’s!

 Let’s see what happens next.  Genesis 16:4-6:

“When (Hagar) became aware of her pregnancy, she looked on her mistress with disdain.  So Sarai said to Abram:  ‘You are responsible for this outrage against me.  I myself gave my maid to your embrace; but ever since she became aware of her pregnancy, she has been looking on me with disdain.  May the Lord decide between you and me!’  Abram told Sarai:  ‘Your maid is in your power.  Do to her whatever you please.’  Sarai then abused her so much that Hagar ran away from her.”

Ahhh……….there are always unintended consequences when we step out of God’s will, when we allow our trust in Him to recede, and take matters into our own hands.   And sin always begets more sin unless there is a conscious turning from it.  Sarai so longed for a child that she acted out of desperation, and in the aftermath she could not contain her jealousy and vengefulness.  Really, a spiritual catastrophe emerged that would hound her for another thirteen years until Isaac was born to her, and for three more after that, until she convinced Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael into the desert.  The effects of her actions can still be seen in the Middle East today in the enmity between Arab peoples and the Israelites, for Ishmael was the child of slavery, but Isaac was the child of the Promise.

Every time I read this story, I am shocked at Sarai on the one hand, yet feel great sympathy for her on the other.  I realize that if my life were to be read like a book, it might inspire the very same reactions.  How have I let my trust in God struggle and even die?  I think of all the times I have reacted out of fear, pride, envy and just plain impatience…………..and then turned to the Lord to help me with damage control.

As some of you know, my husband is not Catholic.  He is a believer and a good man, and tries to live his life by Biblical principles.  But there have been times when I have simmered, fumed and been resentful over his lack of need to convert, which has probably given him more reason not to.  Truth be told, even if he were Catholic, I would have found something else to simmer and fume over.  But I want to emphasize God’s grace to me in helping me to shut my mouth and love my husband just as he is – because that’s what God does.  Love stands a far better chance of converting someone!  And now I am better able to wait for whatever God has in mind for our lives; but it has taken me a long time.

I have also found that when I ask the Lord for an increase in patience and trust, He does not disappoint me.  Sometimes, He places us in situations where we have no other option; but it drives home the message and increases our trust, as long as we are not kicking and screaming all the way!

  Apart from my marriage, the thing that has taught me most to wait on the Lord is the situation with my elderly parents.  I’m sure a number of you can relate.

Of course, I know how the situation will ultimately end.  They will pass away at the appointed time; and until then, things will continue as they have for the past several years.  My mom will gradually succumb to Alzheimer’s, and my dad will continue to go from one crisis to the next, his mental/emotional state always precarious.  All I can do is day by day love them, help them, watch them decline – the good days as well as the bad, when my dad says hurtful things, and when he actually thanks me.  It doesn’t matter.  I could be angry, resentful, impatient ………….. and I have been.  And it only make matters worse.  These kinds of situations are forced on us; we do not choose them, as Sarah did.  But in every situation we have the choice to trust and love, or to doubt and impose our own will.

 As I have thought about my own life and studied Sarah - she would become Sarah and Abram would become Abraham after God instituted circumcision as the sign of his covenant with Abram in Gen. 17, not long before Sarah conceived Isaac – I have also pondered how our Mother Mary waited on the Lord.  Mary declared herself to be “the handmaid of the Lord.”  That’s what a handmaid does – she waits.   When Gabriel announced God’s plan to her in Luke 1, she replies simply, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word.”  She didn’t doubt and say, “Could you tell my parents and the rest of the town so they won’t stone me?” or “What the heck is Joseph going to say?” No, she kept her eyes fixed on the Lord, completely trusting all circumstances and consequences to Him.  Instead of acting out of fear and rushing to judgment, or speaking her mind, she pondered and trusted.  She knew her limits as a created being, in other words humility, and understood God’s sovereignty.  She is the embodiment of Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

The words  “wait” and “hope” have similar meanings:
Wait – to remain or stay in expectation of
Hope – to look forward to with confidence of fulfillment

 So remember that when you are waiting for some good that you have asked of the Lord, or for help to endure humiliation and suffering, there is hope in the waiting; and He uses that waiting to grow you in virtue.  Do we desire to grow in virtue?

 It is hard to admit and accept the sufferings we bring upon ourselves, just as it was for Sarah.  I Peter 3:17 even says, “For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.”  When we suffer for doing evil, we know it is deserved, but it still can be redemptive. When we suffer for doing good, it can be fully redemptive.  But beyond that, we have the power to harm and the power to bless in every situation, in every suffering/waiting.  And the Catechism 164 affirms what we know is true:

“The world we live in often seems very far from the one promised us by faith.  Our experiences of evil and suffering, injustice, and death, seem to contradict the Good News; they can shake our faith and become a temptation.”

   As Sarah probably thought, life just isn’t fair, is it?  But what can help us to bless and trust?

 I believe humility, obedience and gratitude are key.  Examining our consciences and practicing Reconciliation, both in and out of the Confessional are critical.  Focusing on our blessings helps make us content with our lot in life.

                Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord

                Psalm 130:5 – I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.

                Isaiah 30:18 – Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you.  He rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him.

               Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

When you read and hear these words, don’t they inspire confidence? When we fan the flames of pride, vengeance, self-pity, jealousy……….we may be devoured.  But when we let His word dwell richly in our hearts, as is our WOW mission, we are transformed.  His word, as Hebrew 4:12 tells us, is living, so its power moves our hearts toward the One who loves us more than any other.

Indeed, I believe that when Sarah saw the aftermath of her intervention, she knew that she had to wait.  It wasn’t easy, and Gen. 18:12 tells us that Sarah laughed to herself, in a doubting way, when she overheard the Lord promising Abraham that a year later they would have a son.

 Nonetheless, not holding anything against her, God blessed Sarah and Abraham with the son for whom they had so longed.  She was 90 and Abraham was 100!  What joy Isaac must have been in their old age.  And since Isaac means “laughed,” he would be the reminder of God’s faithfulness to her in spite of her sin.

       Do we laugh, too, at God’s promises?  Are they just too elusive to trust?  And yet His word tells us in II Cor. 1:20, “For however many are the promises of God, their YES is in (Christ).”  In other words, because Christ’s life, suffering, death and resurrection have reconciled us to God and opened up for us eternal life with Him, we can trust every circumstance to Him.  Remember, His word also says to us in I Cor. 13:12, “At present we see indistinctly…………..at present (we) know partially.”

               But God sees and knows fully; and He is faithful.