Empty and Full

This talk was given by our team member, Lilian V.:

It is in the book of Ruth that we find Naomi.  This first chapter begins with a mystical , spiritual  tone.           Ruth 1:1-2

Long ago, in the days before Israel had a king, there was a famine in the land. So a man named Elimelech,   who belonged to the clan of Ephrath and who lived in Bethlehem in Judah went with his wife Naomi and their two sons Marlon and Chillion to live for a while in the country of Moab.

This reads like a beautiful bedtime story "long ago, in the days before Israel had a King".   The story of Naomi is a story of  love, loyalty, and redemption. It is a story of a mother-in-law Naomi and a daughter-in-law Ruth. The relationship between both of them. Naomi teaching by example about God and Ruth learning about the living God.  The book of Ruth underscores the theme of the Bible:  God desires all to believe in Him, even non-Israelites.

Elimelech was from the tribe of Judah.  Naomi was a pleasant and capable Jewish girl.  With their two sons they went to the land of Moab. They left behind their home of Bethlehem. The people in Bethlehem had turned away from their God. Everything was in chaos. The Mosaic Covenant( the 10 Commandments) were not followed. The people started the practice of worshipping pagan gods.  It was a time of lawless and a great famine. It was a dark time in Israel's history. Moab is located east of the Dead Sea. The Moabites were descends from Lot. We all remember Lot's forbidden relationship with his older daughter. Naomi and her husband were not planning to stay too long  in Moab. They were going into a pagan land far away from family and friends and leaving everything behind. I can only imagine how bad things were in Bethlehem. Deuteronomy 28:22-24 gives  a description of the famine.

The Lord will strike you with infectious diseases, with swelling and fever; he will send drought and scorching winds to destroy your crops.  These disasters will be with you until you die. No rain will fall and your ground will become as hard as iron. Instead of rain, the Lord will send down dust storms and sandstorms until you are destroyed.  (pause)

God is a good God but as we see many times, God's people disobeyed him.  Now,   in Moab, Naomi and her husband began to make a life  for themselves. Their two sons married Moabites women, Orpah and Ruth.   We can only  wonder how Naomi felt when her sons married pagan women? Did she try to tell them not to do it? did she question God?  Was she charitable toward her two daughters-in-law?  as we get to know Naomi,   we find out that she was a kind and loving mother-in-law. She had an unusual love and loyalty for her daughters-in-law.

Soon afterwards, Elimelech dies,  Naomi's sorrow was great. Some years later Naomi two sons die. She lost her sons but she also felt the pain of sorrow for Orpah and Ruth. Her two daughters-in-law were the only family she had in this land of Moab. Together they cried and comforted each other. We can almost feel the great pain all three wives were feeling. We as women have had times of sorrow. When times like this come into my life  I Pray, Psalm 22

Leave your troubles with the Lord, and he will defend you: He never lets honest people be defeated;

God wants us to enjoy the life He has blessed us with. God also steers us in the direction He wants us to move,   through His Blessings. By shutting one door he will open another door of opportunity. Naomi made ready to go back to Bethlehem since she heard that the famine there had diminished.  Orpah and Ruth  decided to take a course of action and go with Naomi back to Bethlehem.  The love Naomi had for her daughters-in-law was a very caring one. Naomi explained to them that it wasn't right  for young women to forsake their families and friends  for an uncertain  future in Bethlehem.  She expresses the hope that the Lord's loyal love would extend to her daughters-in-laws, who were outside the land of Israel and were not Jewish.  Ruth 1:8

They started out together to go back to Judah, but on the way she said to them, "Go back home and stay with your mothers.  Orpah followed Naomi's advice cried  and kissed her  mother-in-law said good-bye and went back home.  Ruth insisted on staying with her mother-in-law. The loyalty and support she offered Naomi proved to be the turning point in her own life. 

The book of Ruth is a rich source of insights into healthy personal relationships.  It reminds us that even during the dark days of the era of Judges, godly men and women could and did live blessed and happy lives.

Ruth's relationship with God began the way most relationships with Our Lord do.  Ruth began to know and value someone who knew God well. For Ruth, that person was Naomi. This is a lesson for us all. We must become an example of God's love with everyone we meet. It is those "little ways" that others see God in us. Maybe a hello to someone, a smile to another,even a hug to someone that might need one. We go through life  not knowing who we might touch. Naomi lived her God every day . She spoke easily about God because He was real to her. We see this in the blessing she gave her two daughters-in-law after Naomi had decided to return to Judah.   Ruth 1:9

May the Lord be as good to you as you have been to me and to those who have died. And may the Lord make it possible for each of you to marry again and have a home.                Naomi clearly loved her daughters-in-law and loved God.  In loving she became the bridge over which Ruth passed into faith. We all have a bridge that we cross over and it is then we began to love God with all our heart, and all our soul.  With me it has been a very long bridge . I didn't have any religion growing up. I don't have any memory of ever going to church with my parents. I didn't have a big celebration when I made my first communion . It wasn't until I was 14 that I drove myself to church and then I started attended mass. My bridge was my grandmother. She was from Mexico and only spoke Spanish and my prayers were in Spanish. She talked about God , told me stories about the bible. She spoke with love and humility. That was when I started crossing the bridge. I am sure that each one of us have our own story to tell. It would be a good subject to meditate on and find your bridge and then praise Our heavily  Father  for showing us the way.

Ruth refused to return home. She truly loved her mother-in-law and would not desert her. She realized that this decision called for a faith commitment to Naomi's God. When Naomi continued to urge Ruth to return home, Ruth  expressed her commitment to Naomi.  Ruth's answer is found in   Ruth 1:16-17          "Don't ask me to leave you! Let me go with you.  Wherever you go, I will go: wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried. May the Lord's worst punishment come upon me if I let anything but death separate me form you!"

Ruth expressed commitment was significant.  The people of Israel had a covenant relationship with God. Ruth, aware of this relationship, pledged that "your people shall be my people'

She was also committing herself to Israel's God. Ruth had chosen "the Lord God of Israel, "  Ruth was given a blessing. Ruth 2:12

May the Lord reward you for what you have done. May you have a full reward from the Lord God of Israel, to whom you have come for Protection!"

When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more. So Naomi and Ruth                       

continued on to Bethlehem.  Naomi had been gone for a long time and everyone was excited to see her. She was still suffering from her lost that she told the people "Don't call me Naomi," but call me "Mara" which meant "Bitter". The concepts of fullness and emptiness appear here. Naomi left with a husband and two sons.  But now she returned to Bethlehem empty. She was so immerse in her sorrow that she might have felt that her tragedies were punishment for her sins.  Maybe if she had trusted God more she would not have felt so hopeless. Some of us have been in a situation where we lose trust in  God and feel hopeless.

My great hopeless came to me when I lost my father. I loved him so much that to this day I call him  "Daddy". I remember wondering to myself "  will I ever  laugh again".  Like Naomi, I didn't know the blessings I would  receive  afterwards.  It was a time of redemption for me. It was a time of saving my soul through forgiveness toward my mother and having a relationship with her before she died.  With Daddy's death I saw and understood my Mother's sorrow.  The book of Luke gave me great comfort.  Luke 6:21

Happy are you who are hungry now, you will be filled!

Happy are you who weep now: you will laugh. 

Ruth and Naomi arrived at the beginning of barley harvest. Barley was the first crop to ripen, and this period would be the beginning of the harvest season. The law of Moses allowed the poor to gather the grain left  by the people doing the main harvest in the farmers' fields. Even though Ruth did not intentionally go to the field of Boaz, the Lord directed her steps. Boaz was related to Naomi's husband and as a relative,  He  could stand up for the rights of these two women.  He was described as a man of great wealth, a person of noble character and of high standing in the community. Ruth was not presumptuous but asked for a favor that she might  enter the field. Gleaning was hard work, but for the poor each kernel of grain was precious.  And Ruth continued from morning until late in the day gathering food for Naomi and herself. Boaz demonstrated extraordinary concern for Ruth.

In every way Ruth showed herself to be loyal, hard-working, sensible, and responsive to Naomi's advice.  Clearly Ruth had a deep respect for Naomi, as well as a real love for her mother-in-law. Well aware of  her good qualities, Boaz related toward her with great pleasure and approval.  He invited her to eat with his harvesters, told her to harvest with his own servants, and instructed the young men not to molest her.  Ruth returned home to Naomi and told her what good fortune it was to have found  a field belonging to a man named Boaz. Naomi exclaimed. "The Lord bless Boaz!"  Naomi   explain to Ruth that Boaz was a close relative of theirs.  Ruth 2:22-23

Naomi said to Ruth, "Yes, daughter, it will be better for you to work with the women in Boaz field.  You might be molested if you went to someone else' field. So Ruth worked with them and gathered grain until all the barley and wheat had been harvested.  And she continued to live with her mother-in-law.

Naomi is a wonderful example of how to evangelize.  She  didn't try to talk Ruth into faith.  Instead it was through love and living a life that Ruth recognized as Godly.  Naomi shows us how to be a gracious in our relationships toward others.  She loved Ruth enough to put Ruth's welfare above her own.  Many parents hesitate to offer advice to adult children.  We all know that we cannot force our will on them, but we can share our thoughts and our wisdom with those willing to listen.  When advice is given lovingly and with respect, it will often be welcomed.

Naomi is a glorious reminder of how God can make one of the least likely to be remembered into someone who will never be forgotten.       When we feel insignificant we can remember how God used a starving widow to win a woman to faith who became an ancestress of Jesus Christ.

Next week we are going to learn more about Ruth,  and Naomi becoming a wonderful grandmother. It continues  being a love story of relationships and God's goodness. When I began reading about Naomi I wondered :     how God was going to make something good and beautiful with a Moab woman, a pagan woman.  After studying Naomi I knew the answer .     From Moab comes Ruth, and from Ruth comes her son Obed, from Obed comes Jesse, from Jesse comes David    Ruth 4:18-22 and though David comes Jesus Christ       Matt.1,5,6

In Closing I would like to read from Deuteronomy 7:9

Remember that the Lord your   God is the only God   and that he is faithful.  He will keep his covenant and show his constant love to a thousand generations   for those who love him and obey his commands.

 The message I would like to leave you with is --------sometimes we have trouble recognizing God's goodness and His faithfulness but He is still with us no matter the circumstance.  

 

 

  

Unloved yet Loved by God

This week we continue the story---or soap opera---of Rachel and Leah.  When Alycia asked us to choose one of the women of the Bible, she said to pray about it and to let her know which our choice was.  Well, I had already chosen Esther and Judith, two strong women from the Bible, but Alycia told us she would be doing those two.  OK.  So back to the list I went!  That very night, I sat with the list in front of me.  The name Leah kept “popping” up at me.  I had no idea who she was even though I’ve been through Jeff Cavins study of the Bible twice.  So, I said OK, Lord, if that’s who You want me to do, so be it.  I Googled Leah immediately and realized why He had picked her for me.  I learned three important things about Leah:

1)        She was unloved and rejected by her husband Jacob.  She

was his second-rate wife.

2)        She had , as one description called her, “tender eyes”.  My    

Bible says she had “lovely eyes”. (Gen. 29:17)

3)        She was a major matriarch of the Jewish Nation.

 

This is the sad story of Leah who proved to be an important link in the lineage of the Messiah.

 

Leah was the older daughter of Laban and Rachel his younger daughter.  Scripture describes Rachel as “well formed and beautiful”. (Gen 29:17)  The only description we have of Leah is that she had “lovely eyes”.  (Gen 29:17)  In other translations, however, her eyes are described as “tender” or even as “weak”.  I conclude that she had beautiful eyes but had poor vision and maybe had to squint in order to see.  (Unfortunately, there were no contacts or glasses back then.)  Laban was the brother of Rebekah and the uncle of Jacob and Esau.  Jacob, the younger son of Isaac and Rebekah, was sent by his parents to find a wife from among his uncle’s daughters. (Gen 28:1-2)  Jacob first met Rachel at the well where the shepherds watered their flocks.  Rachel’s beauty was so stunning that we know Jacob fell in love with her at first sight.  He, in fact, kissed her and burst into tears that very first meeting at the well. (Gen 29:11)  Rachel was Jacob’s first and only love all of his life.  Poor Leah seemed to be destined to marry Esau, the older son of Isaac and Rebekah.  Esau, which means hairy, was coarse and ill-mannered.  It is said that Leah’s eyes were tender because she wept constantly in prayer that she not have to marry Esau.  Rachel, on the other hand, was expected to marry the smooth-skinned and presumably better-looking and well- mannered Jacob, the younger brother.  According to Leah Kohn, a Jewish author, Leah was a prophetess and saw prophetically that the two couples were to establish the Jewish Nation by each woman giving birth to six tribes of the Jewish people.  She saw this as God’s plan and was totally committed to it although not too happy about it.  She worried, however, that Esau may not be interested and that she may not have a share in the building of the Jewish Nation.

 

The contrast in the two sisters is obvious.  The beautiful Rachel was charismatic and appealing.  Leah, on the other hand, was introspective and quiet.  She was probably a master in meditation.  Rachel Holzkenner, another Jewish author, states that Leah’s prayers “like a perfectly poised arrow, reach straight to Heaven…”.  And because she did not have the beauty and charm of her younger sister, she was humble, unassuming, and obedient.  Her obedience to the demands of her authoritative father is a key factor in the development of her story.

 

Eventually, Leah becomes the first wife of Jacob, not Esau’s as she had feared.  Unfortunately, she became Jacob’s wife, not because he loved her and chose her, but because of the conniving of her father Laban.  After Jacob had stayed with Laban for a month and served him, Laban asked Jacob what he thought his wages should be.   Since Jacob had fallen in love with Rachel he answered, “I will serve you for seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.”  Laban replied, “I prefer to give her to you rather than an outsider.  Stay with me.”  So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, yet they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (Gen 29:18-19)  When the time came for the wedding feast, which in ancient times actually lasted an entire week, Laban pulled his deception.  He took Leah to Jacob instead of his beloved Rachel.  It was the custom for the bride to be veiled when brought to the bridegroom.  Laban presented the veiled Leah to Jacob at nightfall, and the marriage was consummated that night.  In the morning, Jacob was amazed that he had not recognized that it was not Rachel beside him.  He angrily confronted Laban as to how he could deceive him in such a way.  “It is not the custom in our country,” Laban replied, “to marry off a younger daughter before an older one.  Finish the bridal week for this one, and then, I will give you the other too, in return for another seven years of service with me.” (Gen 29:26-27)  Jacob agreed, and he then “consummated his marriage with Rachel also, and he loved her more than Leah.  Thus he remained in Laban’s service another seven years.” (Gen 29:30)

 

The tragic results of Laban’s deception is that Leah becomes the rejected, unloved wife of Jacob.  Did she realize this would happen to her?  What were her feelings when she became a part of the deception?  First of all, she must have been afraid.  She was in fear of her father who would literally kill her if she did not do as he demanded.  He was an authoritative parent and a bully in his treatment of others.  She must have also feared that Jacob would discover she was not Rachel.  What would he do to her then?  There must have also been hope in her heart that once Jacob did consummate the marriage, he would grow to love her.  She always had that hope.  She states after the birth of her second son, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me…” (Gen29:34)  Tragically, that was never the case.  I believe Leah loved Jacob in the same passionate way he loved Rachel.  In the seven years of service by Jacob to her father, Leah fell madly in love with Jacob.  So when she went along with the deception, I imagine she went with some degree of anticipation to Jacob’s tent.  On the dark side, Leah was jealous of Rachel and envied her beauty.  She had to resent that she was treated with contempt all of her life no matter how many children she bore for Jacob.  In contrast, Rachel was always the favored one who was treated with love and affection.  For example, after several years into the marriage, Jacob wanted to reconcile with his estranged brother Esau.  When Esau agreed to meet with him, Esau set out to the meeting “accompanied by four hundred men”. (Gen32:7)  This frightened Jacob because he didn’t know Esau’s intent.  So in his caravan, he placed Leah and her children at the front while Rachel and her children were at the back so they could escape in case Esau attacked them. The rejection and contempt shown to her by Jacob caused Leah humiliation in front of all of the family, especially her children.  Nevertheless, she continued to be a loyal wife to Jacob.

 

“When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he made her fruitful, while Rachel remained barren.” (Gen 29:31)  In another translation, the Bible states that God saw that Leah was hated.  God was aware of Leah’s misery and was moved to compassion and pity for her so He gave her the gift of many children.  Leah became the mother of the greatest number of the Tribes of Israel---six in all.  Rueben and Simeon were her first and second sons.  After their births, Leah said, “It means God saw my misery, and now my husband will love me.” (Gen 29:31-32)  Sadly, that did not happen.  Her third son was named Levi from which descended the Levites, the priests of the Jewish Nation.  Moses, Aaron, and John the Baptist are descendents from Levi.  Her fourth son was Judah.  He was a special gift from God because it was from him that the Jews descended.  It is from Judah that King David, King Solomon, and Jesus Christ Himself descended.  Leah was given by God the gift that from her son Judah’s lineage would come the promised Messiah.  Leah bore two more sons and the one and only daughter of Jacob, the tragic Dinah.  With the birth of each child, Leah’s hope for her husband’s love rose, but to her bitter disappointment, his love was only for Rachel.  Not only did Leah feel Jacob’s contempt, but also her children felt it.  They, too, were regarded as second rate to Rachel’s first-born son Joseph, who was the favorite son of Jacob.  Leah’s sons resented Joseph so much that they almost killed him.  Instead, they then sold him into slavery to the Egyptians.

 

Whether Jacob ever loved Leah is unknown.  Since Rachel died fairly early in the marriage, I like to think that as the years passed by, and they grew old together that perhaps Jacob may have found it in his heart to love her, not in the passionate way he loved Rachel, but in a gentler, quieter way.  It was Leah who was with him as he suffered the loss of his parents.  When Leah died, Jacob buried her in the family tomb in Hebron.  When Jacob was on his deathbed in Egypt, he asked to be buried in his homeland.  So today Leah and Jacob are buried together along with Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rebekah in what is now known as the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron.

 

Leah’s sad story reminds us that much of the suffering and sorrow in life are caused by sin.  The rivalry between Rachel and Leah is a result of the trickery and conniving of their father Laban.  Jacob had to serve Laban for 14 years because of Laban’s lies and deception.  Rachel’s suffering and death at childbirth are a result of Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.  Leah’s participation in the deception of her marriage to Jacob, leads to a life of rejection by a husband who never loved her or her children.  The jealousy and rivalry between Rachel and Leah continued with their children to the point that it almost cost Joseph his life and his freedom.  Our sins also cause us misery and suffering, but thanks to our Redeemer Jesus, we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Through this sacrament, we can be healed and cleansed of our sins.  We can find peace in our hearts and souls.  The people in this tragic story never had the opportunity to find that peace.

 

There are two reasons why I can relate to Leah, and why I think God chose her for me.  First, I have issues with my eyes.  When I was in high school in my senior year, I was chosen as the one with the most beautiful eyes in my class.  Well, these so-called beautiful eyes now have glaucoma which can lead to blindness.  I’ve had five eye surgeries so far and have come that close to losing my vision first in one eye then the other.  I thank God that I have been blessed with a wonderful ophthalmologist who has taken good care of my eyes for many years.  Because of God’s infinite mercy, many prayers, and my doctor, I still have the gift of my vision.

 

The second reason is that Leah was regarded as second rate by her husband.  With me it was not my husband, but my mother who made me feel second rate.  Now I know in most families siblings feel that their mother lover the other child more than she loved him/her.  But with me, my mother herself let me know that she considered me second rate because of my looks.  All of my life, she lamented the fact that I was dark skinned with dark curly (too curly) hair.  When I was in high school, she decided I was also too skinny.  I had to drink daily a tablespoon of some awful-tasting tonic that was supposed to fatten me up.  No telling what was in that horrible tonic, but, fortunately, it didn’t work!  Even as a mature adult when I let the natural curl of my hair show, she told me that my hair was too curly.  Now I don’t want to leave the impression that I was treated like Cinderella.  On the contrary, I had a happy childhood.  My parents were not wealthy, but we lived comfortably so I always had everything I needed or wanted as far as material things were concerned.  It was just that I knew my mother loved my brother more because he looked like her.  Even my friends would comment on how much my mother loved my brother.  It was that obvious.  By the way, my brother and I got along beautifully and loved each other very much.  I never resented him because he was always so good to me.  I was always his “baby sister” no matter how old we got.

 

As I have mentioned, my mother pointed out my shortcomings all of my life.  My healing from her hurtful remarks came about when God began to speak to me through Holy Scripture.  He led me to realize that He was my Creator and I was his creature.  “God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good.” (Gen 1:31)  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” (Jer 1:5)  Then I discovered Psalm 139:  “You knit me in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works!” (Ps 139:13-14)  I am one of His works.  One day He told me, through Scripture, “You are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you.” (Is43:4)  With God’s love through His Word, I have come to realize that my skin, my hair, and everything else about my appearance are all from Him.  He made me just as I am.  I also have a Heavenly Mother who loves me unconditionally.  Mother Mary loves me just as I am because it is her Son who created me.  How can I complain or critisize His work?

 

My mother lived to be 97 years old.  God gave me the privilege of taking care of her those last years of her life.  Taking care of her in her illness and weakness gave me the opportunity to heal some of the hurt and resentment that I had felt because of her harmful remarks.  It was a blessing for me.  Nevertheless, it took a long time for me to forgive her.  After she died, I really thought I had forgiven her, but God spoke to me and made me realize that in my heart the resentment was still there.  It was through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and speaking to a priest that I was finally able to find the forgiveness in my heart.  Writing this talk has also helped.

 

Sister Genevieve of the Holy Face, St. Therese’s older sister Celine Martin, states, “I look upon my imperfections as treasures, and I summon them to appear at my judgment, for all my faults are my strength.  Since I regret them, I think that they will draw God’s pity down upon me; and when he has pity, he also has mercy.”  Because I was told by my mother how imperfect I was, it served to keep me humble.  I see now that it was, in a way, a gift.

 

I hope that you will look for the positive in yourself and others because we are all precious creatures made by our Creator.    Too often, we women can find our faults and the faults of others too easily.  We are quick to point them out.  But when it comes to finding the positive, it seems more difficult.  Your homework for this week is to daily pay yourself a compliment and thank God for making you the woman that you are.  Call to mind everything you like about yourself:  your smile, you hair, your love of reading, your green thumb, you kindness to others, your honesty, etc.  Then thank the Good Lord for that gift.  I close with this prayer:

 

Lord, I don’t want to be critical of how you’ve put me together, relying on what others think of me for my sense of well-being.  Make me a woman who is confident that I am lovable, not because of my outward beauty but because you have loved me from the moment you called me into being.  In Jesus’ name I pray.             

Envy Games

This week's teaching comes from Rebecca:

 

We are introduced to Rachel, as her cousin Jacob arrives in Haran after leaving his homeland.  While traveling to Haran Jacob comes upon a sacred site, dating back to Abraham, at this shrine he rested and  had a dream; of a stairway to the heavens and God’s messengers were going up and down on it. And there was the Lord standing beside him.  Then, God made Jacob the same promise he made to his forefathers: To be with him and make of him a great nation. Jacob in turn, promised with a vow, that if God was able to help him on this journey, “the Lord would be his God”

 Continuing his journey, Jacob finally arrives in Haran, where Jacob meets his uncle Laban and falls in love with Rachel, his cousin. The dream and promises deeply imbedded in his memory must have caused his exultation! Psalm84:6 Happy are those who find refuge in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrim roads. I wonder if Jacob gave any thought to Laban response, Ah “You are indeed, my flesh and blood.”  Family resemblances are not always physical, they can be observed in behavior as well.  It won’t take long to see Laban’s true character was divided, one of duplicity, not to be trusted.

 As  Jacob settles into everyday life, working for Laban and all the while falling deeply in love with Rachel, Laban, is prompted to ask him, how he would be able to pay Jacob  for his work. Jacob responds by asking to marry Rachel. He offers to work seven years for Laban, in lieu of the customary bridal price. Laban agreed to the arrangement. As time progressed, I am sure he was very pleased with the work Jacob provided him. For Jacob, the years flew by and with each one that passed Jacob’s love for Rachel grew. Imagine the excitement Rachel and Jacob must have felt after the seven years were completed.

 The promises God had made to give Jacob were on the horizon. Jacob had won Rachel’s hand in marriage and their new life together as husband and wife would soon begin. Now remember, over the past seven years Laban enjoyed the benefits of free labor and the skills of the best guy in town, and that was all going away. He also had the problem of his older daughter, one can only speculate how pleased he was with himself when he came up with a great idea! Yes, he could to solve two problems with one wonderful idea. How smart he was!  The night of the wedding feast Genesis 29:23 tells us, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob and Jacob consummated the marriage with her instead of Rachel. Verse 25 continues, In the morning Jacob, expecting to see Rachel upon awakening was amazed it was Leah!

Poor Leah, to be left alone as Jacob rushed from the tent to find  Laban, shouting:” How could you do this to me!” Laban hiding, as he defended his action by saying, “it was the custom to marry the older first”, but then slyly conceding, allowing Rachel to marry Jacob, when the marriage week was completed for Leah. There was a catch though, Jacob had to give Laban seven more years of work to secure the bridal price again for Rachel. Jacob, then consummated his union with Rachel. What was the conversation between this couple during their wedding week together?  We do know that  chapter 29:30 says “he loved  her( Rachel) more than Leah.” Everyone knew this.  Think of the heartache these women had to be experiencing, it is also clear that Jacob was caught between these two sister-wives.  

 The additional seven years in the service of Laban  must had devastated Jacob, as much as it thrilled Laban.  Jacob, Leah and Rachel had to now adjust to this new situation and a choice had to be made.  Rachel,  no doubt had been injured, she also knew of the intensity of Jacobs love for her, yet it was clouded by her  pain, and  anger, caused by Laban’s decision to use his daughters for personal  gain.  As the months progressed Jacob must have left Leah by herself, night after night because  Genesis 29:31 states “When God saw that Leah, was unloved he made her fruitful,”  Until then it is unknown if Rachel was begrudging towards her sister or not, but we do know that seeds of envy grew as Leah began to bear Jacob sons, and Rachel remained barren. Leah also had an agenda, for she certainly loved Jacob. Unfortunately, Leah made this agenda known by how she to name each  son she bore Jacob.  

They were named  according to her status with her husband. With each son the animosity between the sisters grew and even if they were cordial to one another, under the surface simmered the resentment which tears families apart, as we see in Genesis 30:1-2  when

Rachel saw that she failed to bear children to Jacob, she became envious of her older sister. Who was able to give Jacob sons. She screamed at  Jacob, “Give me children or I shall die”, and in anger  Jacob answered her, “can I take the place of God, who has denied you the fruit of the womb?” We see resentment festering in a relationship which previously had been filled with love.

 We can only speculate how many arguments Rachel had with Jacob, and missed opportunities with Leah.  Rachel in desperation, gave Jacob her handmaid to produce a child, two sons, separately, were born this way. Both were named by Rachel to describe her struggle with Leah.  Envy, spite, discontentment, lack of compassion, marred the relationship between the sisters. 

Ponder, 1John 2:10  Whoever loves his brother remains in the light, and there is nothing in him to cause a fall. What  would have happened if Rachel chose to show mercy to her sister and accepted that Leah was just as much a pawn of Laban as she was.

 The Catechism of the Catholic Church  wisely speaks into  Envy (CCC.2540) Envy represents a form of sadness and therefore a refusal of charity.  Rachel’s envy came from her sadness over not being Jacob’s first wife, a sadness of a loss of the hopes and dreams she had for her and Jacob, then her envy came from her sisters fertility and her infertility, this sadness, when allowed to settle within a heart will turn to depression which can cause serious injury, not only to the  person, but to those around them as well.

 St John Chrysostom in a homily wrote a sure way to avoid the pains of sadness,"Would you like to see God glorified by you? Then rejoice in your brother’s progress and you will immediately give glory to God. Because his servants could conquer envy by rejoicing in the merits of others, God will be praised. 

 Genesis 30:22   God remembers  Rachel;  he heard her prayer and made her fruitful and Rachel conceives a son. (Joseph)  Rachel’s heart is relieved of the bitterness. In hopes of another child, she names him Joseph which means “May the Lord add another son to this one for me.”

 Psalm 32: 1&2  Happy the sinner whose fault is removed, whose sin is forgiven. Happy those to whom the Lord imputes no guilt, in whose spirit is no deceit. Could this apply to Jacob and his wives, especially  Rachel. I would hope she would seek only the help of the God of Jacob and reconcile with her sister. Unfortunately there is no indication that they did. Rachel’s journey would soon end here, near what would be Bethlehem.  She was to bring forth Jacob’s last son and in the process her life would end in childbirth, as God had spoken of to Eve. Rachel, in her travail would name this son Ben-Oni, the son of my trouble, which captured her anguish his birth. Jacob would later change his name to Benjamin which means “Son of My right hand”.  At her death, Rachel would leave both her husband and her children to her sister Leah.

 This journey we just took with Rachel is heart breaking, so much unnecessary strife and unhappiness. How wonderful it would be if we were able to say women no longer acted this way towards one another.  Why do we still find judgment, jealousy, and gossip so much a part of our actions. Just recently I was at lunch with some friends and this question came up.

 We don’t know what Rachel had experienced being the younger sister, but we do know that we all have the propensity  to act  as Rachel did.  Knowing ourselves and our family dynamics helps us to understand just how easily we can be caught in these trappings. We must ask ourselves the question, do we defer to others or is my opinion what is most important. Do we deal well with disappointment or become upset when we don’t get what we like. Are we moody? Do we gossip, looking for an available ear to listen to us complain? These are pretty easy questions to start with and pretty easy to identify within ourselves. Sometimes, you can go through your whole life  interacting with your  family and not even realize there is a problem.

The wonderful thing is as a  person enters into a relationship with God, he meets you right were you are, as he did with all the people in the bible He let’s you know not to hide as Eve, to wait on him as with Sarah and to trust in  him as he desired Rachel to do, because never for a moment will he forget us, He is present and attentive, aware of the desires of our hearts even when we are certain he has lost track of us. He forgives us when we slide into resenting others and begin to compete with them. He knows that relationships are not easy, he never intended us to be struggling with one another.

 Coming from a family of five, my siblings mostly being teens, I went pretty much unnoticed by my dad. Now, I had an older sister, by six years. she was witty and beautiful, the pride and joy of my father and she knew it. It was okay with  me that she had many  abilities, I loved my sister.  Then two separate events  happened which sealed my heart, planted seeds of distrust and resentment, In both the common thread was betrayal and for the longest time I questioned if she really meant to hurt me as she did. As I began to distrust her, I noticed that it was important to her that she shined before everyone else.

 I pray for my sister every day, I have opened the door for communication and she has chosen not to respond, which is okay. All  in God’s time. None of the hurt or feelings of inadequacy remain within me, just sweet healing from above, and I still do love her. O my God, Fill my soul with holy joy, courage, and strength to serve you. Enkindle your love in me, and then walk with me along the next stretch of road before me. I do not see very far ahead, but when I have arrived where the horizon now closes down, a new prospect will open before me, and I shall meet with peace. Saint Theresa Benedicta of the Cross ( Edith Stein)  

I believe my healing began as I reflected In  back on my teen years.  My  female friends would tell me that they loved me. I would begin to feel uncomfortable, uneasy, then I would simply give less of myself in the relationship. Clearly I feared being hurt. As I acknowledged this truth I was able to pinpoint when this began and my first step was in validating my feelings in regards to how my sister had hurt me. I was right, I had been injured, with this acknowledgement I could freely forgive her. As an adult I  began to meet women and I grew to trust, them.  They had one thing in common, their complete love of God and the desire to listen to whatever he told them. I thank God for those who showed me I was safe in their care, and ultimately I would see that meant I was safe in God’s loving  arms.

 My hearts desire was not to be thwarted by pettiness or competition. I grew comfortable allowing other women to minister to my heart and to find my voice within a loving community of holy women. I  recently shared with a friend how I felt when I was with these women. I said it is the “face of love.” She responded, “may you repeat this truth many times to those you meet” So now I say to you, seek those who wear the face of love, and be the face of love to those you meet.    

And when you find your heart heavy in the struggle, when others try to steal your joy, as will happen on this journey we are on, remember the words of St Ignatius of Loyola.

Take, O Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my whole will. Thou hast given me all that I am and all that I possess; I surrender it all to thee that thou mayest dispose of it according to they will. Give me only thy love and thy grace; with these I will be content and will have no more to desire.

For your love and grace is enough for me.

Then pour it back out to those around you!

God Bless you all!

The Waiting (is the hardest part)

This weeks teaching comes from our team member, Sharon:

This week we have the opportunity to study Sarah.  Hers is the story of waiting, along with the temptations that arise during waiting.  I think we will see ourselves in this intriguing story that reads as interestingly as the greatest fiction.

The first mention of Sarah, or Sarai, is in Genesis 11:29 and 30 – “The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai………..Sarai was barren; she had no child.”  I don’t know about you, but those few simple words grab my heart.  “She had no child.”

We then go on to read in Genesis 12 that Abram’s father, Terah, took his grandson Lot, Abram and Sarai out of the land of Ur, the land of their kinsfolk, intending to settle in the land of Canaan. Ur was in what is now southeastern Iraq.  It would eventually be called Babylon, and is, ironically, the place of exile for the Israelites nearly a thousand years later.

Well, Terah died before they reached Canaan, in a region called Haran.  And it was at this point that the Lord himself spoke to Abram in Gen. 12:1-3, “Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.”  And then he stated his promise to Abram,

                      “I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you. I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you.  All the communities of the earth shall find blessing in you.”

 So they went as the Lord instructed them, Abram, Sarai, Lot and all their possessions, and set out for the land of Canaan, the land promised to Abram and his descendants.  And when they arrived there……… they found a severe famine.  And Abram made the decision to sojourn to Egypt in search of food.

 To complicate matters, Abram realized that because Sarai was so beautiful, the Egyptians might kill him if they found out he was her husband, so he asked her to lie and say that they were brother and sister (which was half true – same father different mothers). Pharaoh took Sarai into his palace, (which is interesting since she was already about 65 years old!).  But Gen. 12:16 says, “on her account it went very well with Abram, and he received flocks and herds, male and female slaves, male and female asses, and camels.”

But the Lord was not too happy; in fact, he intervened and struck Pharaoh’s household with severe plagues because of Abram’s wife.  When Pharaoh discovered the lie, he was only too happy to send Sarai and Abram packing, very rich now in livestock, silver and gold.

 Later in the story, after the establishment of the covenant between God and Abram, Abram asked Sarai to tell the same lie again as they sojourned through another region, with the same result!

Now let’s stop here for a moment and digest all that has transpired.  We know that wives obeyed their husbands in this culture and time period.  Indeed, a wife belonged to her husband, so of course, Sarai would go with Abram.  But it is interesting to imagine all that she might have been thinking!  We also know that Abram and his people were semi-nomadic, so to move from place to place was not uncommon.  However, the city of Ur was the place of their kinsfolk.  We know also that they were not “young.”  So they left behind them the only life they’d ever known to begin a new life; yet in this new place, Sarai’s humiliation remained, along with many other frustrations now. 

Perhaps she was wondering about her husband and about God,  “Why all the wandering, the lies, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah from which we had to flee for our lives?”  Maybe Sarai missed the city of Ur.  When would they finally settle for a while?  When would the babies come?  After all, God said he’d make of Abram a great nation.  What was going on?

 As for Sarai’s continued barrenness, it is important to understand that it was a “double curse,” for the woman so afflicted lived with an unfulfilled longing on her part, but it also meant that her husband would have no heir, which was a very big deal.  Abram was a wealthy man now, and all that he owned would go to his steward if he had no heir.  So humiliation overshadowed both of them.

 Ten years after God first spoke His promise to Abram, Sarai must have decided she’d waited long enough!

Have you ever felt that way?!  When all the good things you’ve prayed for seem not to register with God?
That must be how Sarai felt.  So even if she could not bear a child, she would take matters into her own hands, and she would see to it that her husband had an heir.  She knew just what she would do.

Sarai had an Egyptian maidservant, Hagar, likely one of the slaves given to them by Pharaoh when they left Egypt.  Gen. 16:2 says, “Sarai said to Abram, ‘The Lord has kept me from bearing children (so she sees God as an adversary here;).  Have intercourse, then, with my maid; perhaps I shall have sons through her.’  Abram heeded Sarai’s request.”

 I think we find ourselves aghast when we read this, but ancient sources tell us that Sarai’s actions are in keeping with the laws of the time.  Clearly, though, this was not God’s will.  Even then, cultural mores weren’t the same as God’s!

 Let’s see what happens next.  Genesis 16:4-6:

“When (Hagar) became aware of her pregnancy, she looked on her mistress with disdain.  So Sarai said to Abram:  ‘You are responsible for this outrage against me.  I myself gave my maid to your embrace; but ever since she became aware of her pregnancy, she has been looking on me with disdain.  May the Lord decide between you and me!’  Abram told Sarai:  ‘Your maid is in your power.  Do to her whatever you please.’  Sarai then abused her so much that Hagar ran away from her.”

Ahhh……….there are always unintended consequences when we step out of God’s will, when we allow our trust in Him to recede, and take matters into our own hands.   And sin always begets more sin unless there is a conscious turning from it.  Sarai so longed for a child that she acted out of desperation, and in the aftermath she could not contain her jealousy and vengefulness.  Really, a spiritual catastrophe emerged that would hound her for another thirteen years until Isaac was born to her, and for three more after that, until she convinced Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael into the desert.  The effects of her actions can still be seen in the Middle East today in the enmity between Arab peoples and the Israelites, for Ishmael was the child of slavery, but Isaac was the child of the Promise.

Every time I read this story, I am shocked at Sarai on the one hand, yet feel great sympathy for her on the other.  I realize that if my life were to be read like a book, it might inspire the very same reactions.  How have I let my trust in God struggle and even die?  I think of all the times I have reacted out of fear, pride, envy and just plain impatience…………..and then turned to the Lord to help me with damage control.

As some of you know, my husband is not Catholic.  He is a believer and a good man, and tries to live his life by Biblical principles.  But there have been times when I have simmered, fumed and been resentful over his lack of need to convert, which has probably given him more reason not to.  Truth be told, even if he were Catholic, I would have found something else to simmer and fume over.  But I want to emphasize God’s grace to me in helping me to shut my mouth and love my husband just as he is – because that’s what God does.  Love stands a far better chance of converting someone!  And now I am better able to wait for whatever God has in mind for our lives; but it has taken me a long time.

I have also found that when I ask the Lord for an increase in patience and trust, He does not disappoint me.  Sometimes, He places us in situations where we have no other option; but it drives home the message and increases our trust, as long as we are not kicking and screaming all the way!

  Apart from my marriage, the thing that has taught me most to wait on the Lord is the situation with my elderly parents.  I’m sure a number of you can relate.

Of course, I know how the situation will ultimately end.  They will pass away at the appointed time; and until then, things will continue as they have for the past several years.  My mom will gradually succumb to Alzheimer’s, and my dad will continue to go from one crisis to the next, his mental/emotional state always precarious.  All I can do is day by day love them, help them, watch them decline – the good days as well as the bad, when my dad says hurtful things, and when he actually thanks me.  It doesn’t matter.  I could be angry, resentful, impatient ………….. and I have been.  And it only make matters worse.  These kinds of situations are forced on us; we do not choose them, as Sarah did.  But in every situation we have the choice to trust and love, or to doubt and impose our own will.

 As I have thought about my own life and studied Sarah - she would become Sarah and Abram would become Abraham after God instituted circumcision as the sign of his covenant with Abram in Gen. 17, not long before Sarah conceived Isaac – I have also pondered how our Mother Mary waited on the Lord.  Mary declared herself to be “the handmaid of the Lord.”  That’s what a handmaid does – she waits.   When Gabriel announced God’s plan to her in Luke 1, she replies simply, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word.”  She didn’t doubt and say, “Could you tell my parents and the rest of the town so they won’t stone me?” or “What the heck is Joseph going to say?” No, she kept her eyes fixed on the Lord, completely trusting all circumstances and consequences to Him.  Instead of acting out of fear and rushing to judgment, or speaking her mind, she pondered and trusted.  She knew her limits as a created being, in other words humility, and understood God’s sovereignty.  She is the embodiment of Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

The words  “wait” and “hope” have similar meanings:
Wait – to remain or stay in expectation of
Hope – to look forward to with confidence of fulfillment

 So remember that when you are waiting for some good that you have asked of the Lord, or for help to endure humiliation and suffering, there is hope in the waiting; and He uses that waiting to grow you in virtue.  Do we desire to grow in virtue?

 It is hard to admit and accept the sufferings we bring upon ourselves, just as it was for Sarah.  I Peter 3:17 even says, “For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.”  When we suffer for doing evil, we know it is deserved, but it still can be redemptive. When we suffer for doing good, it can be fully redemptive.  But beyond that, we have the power to harm and the power to bless in every situation, in every suffering/waiting.  And the Catechism 164 affirms what we know is true:

“The world we live in often seems very far from the one promised us by faith.  Our experiences of evil and suffering, injustice, and death, seem to contradict the Good News; they can shake our faith and become a temptation.”

   As Sarah probably thought, life just isn’t fair, is it?  But what can help us to bless and trust?

 I believe humility, obedience and gratitude are key.  Examining our consciences and practicing Reconciliation, both in and out of the Confessional are critical.  Focusing on our blessings helps make us content with our lot in life.

                Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord

                Psalm 130:5 – I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.

                Isaiah 30:18 – Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you.  He rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him.

               Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

When you read and hear these words, don’t they inspire confidence? When we fan the flames of pride, vengeance, self-pity, jealousy……….we may be devoured.  But when we let His word dwell richly in our hearts, as is our WOW mission, we are transformed.  His word, as Hebrew 4:12 tells us, is living, so its power moves our hearts toward the One who loves us more than any other.

Indeed, I believe that when Sarah saw the aftermath of her intervention, she knew that she had to wait.  It wasn’t easy, and Gen. 18:12 tells us that Sarah laughed to herself, in a doubting way, when she overheard the Lord promising Abraham that a year later they would have a son.

 Nonetheless, not holding anything against her, God blessed Sarah and Abraham with the son for whom they had so longed.  She was 90 and Abraham was 100!  What joy Isaac must have been in their old age.  And since Isaac means “laughed,” he would be the reminder of God’s faithfulness to her in spite of her sin.

       Do we laugh, too, at God’s promises?  Are they just too elusive to trust?  And yet His word tells us in II Cor. 1:20, “For however many are the promises of God, their YES is in (Christ).”  In other words, because Christ’s life, suffering, death and resurrection have reconciled us to God and opened up for us eternal life with Him, we can trust every circumstance to Him.  Remember, His word also says to us in I Cor. 13:12, “At present we see indistinctly…………..at present (we) know partially.”

               But God sees and knows fully; and He is faithful.